Top Ten Reasons Why Athames Are Black and How to Piss off a Pagan

Top Ten Reasons Athames are Black

10. So they'll go with any color robe. 
9. So you can cover up nicks and scratches with shoe polish. 
8. It's slimming (can't have fat Athames can we???) 
7. It doesn't show dirt. 
6. Because finding a dropped Athame in an outdoor ritual in the dark is a test of loyalty to your faith. 
5. It's so much more dignified than chartreuse. 
4. Seemed like a good idea at the time. 
3. Someone spilled all the paints together and that's what ended up as the result. 
2. No! No! Black is for winter ritual - use white before Labor Day!!! 
1. So that we'd have something to argue about other than how "athame" is pronounced!!!

Top Ten Ways To Piss Off A Pagan 

1. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers. 
2. Be considerate, rearrange their altar so it will look neat. 
3. Blow out their altar candle if it is still daylight. (No need to waste a good candle!) 
4. Pick up their gems for a closer look. 
5. Sharpen their dull, black-handled knife. 
6. Witness to them about the 'One True Religion'. 
7. Untie the knots in their cord. 
8. Take hold of their jewelry for a closer look. 
9. Play card games with their Tarot deck. 
10. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers.