Infamous Lightbulb Jokes

How many Gardernians does it take to change a light bulb?
1) Can't tell you, Craft secret.
2) Still can't tell you, you're not Third Degree.
3) (in a low ominous tone) "Why do you want to know...initiate?"

How many Alexandrians does it take to change a light bulb?
1) Dunno - we haven't looked it up in the Gardnerian Book Of Shadows yet.
2) 13. One High Priestess to change the bulb, and 12 to hold her up under all that jewelry.
3) "Let's go see how the Gardnerians do it!"
4)One and 12 strangers in off the street.     

How many Brit Trad Wiccans does it take to change a light bulb?
13. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of the old bulb.

How many Dianic Lesbian Witches does it take to...
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

How many Dianic witches does it take to change a light bulb?
1. One, but that light bulb has really, REALLY, got to want to change!
2. None, they formed a support committee entitled, "Coping With Darkness."

How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb?
1) 93.
2) None - Thelemites embrace the dark as well as the light.
3) None - real Thelemites aren't afraid of the dark.
4) None, Crowley never wrote a book about it.

How many Druid's does it take to change a lightbulb?
501. One to change the bulb and 500 to align the > new stone.

How many Family traditionalists does it take to change a light bulb?
Candle light was good enough for our ancestors, it's good enough for us!

How many Starhawk witches does it take to change a light bulb?
1) (plaintively) "There are starving villages in Africa that don't even HAVE light bulbs..."
2) A small group but the lightbulb must be accepting of the change.

How many solitary witches does it take to change a light bulb?
1) (if they actually ask 'how many?', drum your fingers and stare at them as you wait for them to grasp the obvious)
2) None, you must first be initiated by a real witch before you can properly change a light bulb!  {{{{{{aaagghhh}}}}}}

How many Frost "School of Wicca" witches does it take to change a light bulb?
"Just you! That's right, YOU! And for only $195 we'll send you our complete "Witches Magic Power of Light Bulb Changing Course" with real knowledge that you can apply this to ANY light bulb ANYwhere! Listen to the testimony of a young couple from Wisconsin who..."

How many Erisians does it take to change a light bulb?
"How many have we got?"

How many Discordians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Five Tons.

How many Wiccans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Four. One for each direction.

How many members of IOT does it take to screw in a lighbulb?
Sorry, that ritual is copyrighted.

How many Proteans does it take to change a light bulb?
I can't tell you--we never change a light bulb the same way twice! :}

How many Buckland witches does it take to change a light bulb?
"Refer to my second book, "Practical Light Bulb Changing" by Raymond Buckland..."

How many tantrics does it take to change a light bulb?
2, as long as the lamp is by the bed...

How many Ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One. They hold it up, and the world revolves around them.

How many Pagans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six. One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that lightbulbs never burned out before those Christians came along.

How many New-agers does it take to change a light bulb?
1) (in a flaky voice) We don't use light bulbs, we just think happy thoughts at our quartz crystals and they glow.
2) A whole workshop.  They gather around and enshrine the dead bulb with crystals and candles.  Then they start chanting in hopes that the bulb will find it's chi.  Afterwords, they pay their $150.00 membership dues then go home.

How many ADF druids does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to change the bulb, one to write a song about how much better the old bulb was, and four to write conflicting parodies of the second Druid's song.

How many Fam-Trads does it take to change a light bulb?
Go ask your own grandmother!

How many shamans does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just change shape into a cat or bat, and can see in the dark.

How many Radical Faeries does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to change the bulb and the other to stand back and shriek, "FABULOUS?"

How many Eclectics does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they are used to working in the dark.
How many Asatru does it take to change a lightbulb?
"Lightbulb, what is lightbulb?"
How many Scientologists  does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but it cost $300,000 for the training. (had to throw that in)



Zodiac

How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes a lot of light bulbs.

How many Tauruses does it take to change a light bulb?
What, me move?

How many Geminis does it take to change a light bulb?
II

How many Cancers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but he has to bring his mother.

How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb?
A dozen. One to change the bulb, and eleven to applaud.

How many Virgos does it take to change a light bulb?
One to clean out the socket, one to dust the bulb, one to install, and two engineers to check the work.

How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb?
Libras can't decide if the bulb needs to be changed.

How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They LIKE the dark.

How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb?
One to install the bulb, and a Virgo to pick up the pieces.

How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb?
The light's fine as it is.

How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb?
Have you asked the bulb if it WANTS to be changed?

How many Pisceans does it take to change a light bulb?
What light bulb?

How many astrologers does it take to change a light bulb?
"Don't ask me now, Mercury's retrograde!"






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